Wednesday 18 November 2009

Sex and Validation

Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.

Tonight, it didn't.

It's no secret to anybody who knows me that I've been having a crisis of self-confidence recently. And with my all-too-recent return to life outside a hospital ward, I'm feeling rather fragile and, well, useless. All those things that used to occupy my time, uni, work, friends... gone. I wonder whatever happened to the latter?

My attempted reconciliation (ongoing...) with H, and the confusion over my feelings for him (I know I love him, I'm just not sure how I feel about that), coupled with my bizarre and now bordering on destructive and unrequited love (yes, I fear I love him, too?) for my closest friend - it's all taken it's toll. Tonight, I just wanted to stop worrying about what, or who, I want, and feel wanted.

Cue K, an old, erm... "friend." We chatted online for a while, talked about the times we met. I remembered him telling me he liked me, in a way ("You're kinda fit, and you're well good in bed,") so thought I'd give it a go. I asked him if he wanted to meet up tonight, and 20 minutes later he picked me up outside. We didn't quite make it to his place, and ended up instead in a Tesco car park, he did explain that he was ridiculously horny, too. The sex was mechanically awesome, just like it was before - all 5 minutes of it, if that. There was a very awkward moment where he wouldn't kiss me, but it was all totally eclipsed when he proclaimed, "I'm cumming!" and within seconds, pushed me off him, removed the rubber and turned the key in the ignition WHILE zipping up his jeans. Literally a selfish fucker. That's the worst kind of fucker there is.

When I got in, I experienced a whole new situation for me - too horny not to wank, but too pissed off to get hard. Let's see if Devin can cure what ails me...

4 comments:

Steve said...

What a selfish sod! Hope you sorted urself out after ;) If u ever need a hand.......................

Anonymous said...

Hello my name is Merle Dean Shamblin and I would like to be your new friend. I sure could use somebody to chat with. I am a 48 year old long haul truck driver who currently lives in Weatherford Oklahoma. Dec 8th 1960 I was born in Fairview Oklahoma. Moved to Caddo and Washita counties where I attended school at Colony Hydro and Weatherford. My parents Malvin and Wanda Shamblin were cotton and peanut farmers. Dad died in 99 from lung cancer. Graduated from SWOSU with a business degree. My two sisters are LaDonna Hubert and Malva Burrahm. Dennis is my brother. I have been a truck driver for 15 years and have driven 2 million paid miles. I have received many safe driving awards over the years. I am single and have never been married. I have a wide range of interests and am pretty much an open book. Currently I drive a 2006 Freightliner for a major carrier. I dont go to Canada very often. I dont have a dedicated route so I run the entire lower 48. I enjoy reading cinema music sports travel etc. I am gay and seeking travel buddies. merleshamblin@live.com

hot naked men said...

I reckon Devin can definitely help if not cure!

Anonymous said...

The belt could be worn wherever so you can get a great operate out taking a cat nap or washing house.



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